First Father’s Day After Losing My Son
By Tom Calhoun
I try to explain to other people what it is like to go through this thing called grief. I say it’s like climbing a mountain. I climb the mountain, knowing that I will never reach the top.
Normally, around the middle of the month, I start to slip and slide down, and by the end of the month I’m at the bottom.
This may sound like I’m going nuts sometimes. I’m not going to lie, I am going nuts! I miss my son. I miss everything about him. I look around and see other dads doing what I should be doing with Brad. But I just sit there and can only imagine doing things with Brad, now! And yes, that drives me nuts.
This is the the first Father’s Day since Brad’s death at age five and a half on July 2, 2011. I am a mess.
I have started to speak in public about water safety, telling our story. I made a promise to Brad when I was doing CPR on him, that I would do everything in my power to prevent anyone else from drowning. I don’t know what else to do. I don’t ever want any other father – any other family – to know this kind of loss, to know the emptiness I now feel on Father’s Day.
I have a daughter – Brad’s sister – and I love her to pieces. We will mark Father’s Day together, now. And I’ll do everything I can to make holidays special for her and to protect her, as much as possible, from life’s dangers.
But I’m new to this thing called grief, so I’m learning as I go!
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